What’s coming up? Birthday? Holiday? Vacation? Back to school?
We are all list makers whether we write it down, scribble it on scrap paper, or keep it in our heads. I’m list lover. I love lists and when I pass on from this world, I’m sure my children will hoot and holler over the lists I bequeath to them by default. I literally have lists of lists. Some of you might never write it down, but you have a list of sorts in your mind. It’s simply how our brains work.
Without even realizing, your everyday habits and routines are a series of lists in action that you don’t always consciously think through anymore. Sometimes the lists we keep in our heads can get a bit scrambled up or fade into the oblivion of “things to remember.” Sometimes you think about writing it down, but even when you do, you can’t remember where you put it. You resort to winging it.
“To do” lists are amazingly simple tools to help us stay on task, but how is your “TO BE” list? Wait, what? My “TO BE” list??? Oh, you have one! Even if you have never written it down, it is written on your heat and soul. You have one for a lot of other people too. Incognito, your “To Be” list is all dressed up as expectations. Ahhh. Now you know the list I’m talking about. We have expectations of how we want things to go, but in the end it is how we want people to be or feel.
We might want the birthday party or the first day of school to go a certain way, but in the end it is because we want to be a certain way. We don’t always think through the steps to get there, we just . . . expect it. We expect that if we check off the “to do” list, then the “to be” list will kinda-sorta happen. Let’s think this through. Let’s turn it right side up. Let’s start with how we show up, who we can be.
What is the “to be” list and what can we do to set ourselves up for success? Katricka wanted the first day of school to be fun, happy, exciting. She knew the children would be a bit anxious about the new routine, even if they were happy for the first day. She thought about what could interfere with a fun, unstressed first day. Rushing out of the door is always stressful and not having the things they needed only added to it. Her answer was to BE prepared ahead of time; to BE relaxed, to BE happy, to BE at peace. She decided to plan an easy crowd pleasing breakfast, lay out clothes, shoes, socks, the works, the night before. She and the children double checked the back packs and made sure everyone had everything the needed for an peaceful morning. The night before, she planned for a quiet evening, not last minute supply shopping, with extra time to settle the children’s emotions for the next day.
A few minutes spent making sure everything is in place the night before makes such a huge difference. It’s pay me now or pay me later. If you don’t do it now, then when? It is the fastest short cut to hit the mark on your “to be” list. Parents set the tone. Do what you need to do to be more at ease? Then you need to BE at ease and have the margin to help your children be more at ease. That morning stress can ruin the whole day. You know what needs to be on your list. Every family is different. Some children are always spilling their breakfast. If that’s your family, then lay out a second set of back of clothes. Some children often forget their backpack, but you can have a before-we-leave-the-house checklist before you walk out of the door.
Does it take more effort? YES
Does it take more time? YES
Is it less stressful? YES
Before you plan your “to do” list, first think about your “to be” list.
What kind of family do you want to be?
